I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Non-Jews are for practice
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
