i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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