if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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