you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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