You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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