I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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