We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You don't make any sense
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