You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
