Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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