doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
