oh god the rape fog is back!
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
