Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
