I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
