When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
