like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
