i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
