What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
