this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
