A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Oh god it's open bar.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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