I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
