Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
