Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Little spoons don't ask big questions
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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