you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
