I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My first STD was from a foam party
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
