I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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