I want you more than these girls want KFC
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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