Don't make out with my wife yet
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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