I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
