You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
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