It's like God shit irony all over that family
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
