Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
