Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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