We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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