we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
