You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
