Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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