So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
