The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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