I didn't shave. On purpose
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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