i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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