have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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