So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
