We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
