I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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