How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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