I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
can u get pink eye on your cock?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We need to get me chipped asap
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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