i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
