I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
