I puked a lego.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
