IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
