after a month anything with tits is on the radar
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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